Superman Returns

Superman Returns is one giant love letter to 1978's Superman: The Movie. When you strip it down to it's bare bones, the plot is exactly the same as Superman: The Movie. That's right! Lex Luther is wanting to kill a LOT of people to get what he wants...Land! It also contains a lot of little references and homages to it. None of that bothered me. What did you ask? Ok...I'll get that out of the way first.

CAUTION! I WILL GIVE AWAY CERTAIN PLOT POINTS!

I could have done without these few things...

1. Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. I don't know whom she was playing in this movie. It wasn't Lois Lane! Parker Posey had a supporting role as Kitty, Luther's right hand chick. Yep...she plays the Ms. Tesmacher of this film...except she did not wear a hot red dress! For shame! When Posey was on screen, I thought, "she should be playing Lois Lane." I think Posey is a talented actress. I think she could have pulled it off. Nothing against Kate Bosworth. I just don't think she was right for the part...but what do I know?

2. That kid being Superman's kid. Why! Why did they do that! Let me set this up...Superman returns to Earth from a journey into outer space. Astronomers thought they found where his home world was located. (pop quiz: what's the name of Superman's home planet?) He just had to go see it. This little vacation takes him five years. When he returns, he discovers Lois has moved on. She has a new boyfriend, Ricky White. She even has a kid! Wow! How to handle this? This upsets the man o' steel. I thought, "Here is a chance at some deep drama! What a dilemma this poses for Superman!" Well...not really! It was too good to be true. All through the movie the kid is portrayed as a sickly little guy. So the audience may start to think, “well Superman could not have such a sickly little kid! So maybe it’s not Superman’s kid.” It was not to be. There comes that moment near the end of the movie where the kid reveals that he has some super-powers. Yippy! To me that just takes out all the tension between Superman and Lois. The kid is Superman’s kid so Lois can now leave Ricky White and that’s that. All she’ll do is break Ricky’s heart. So what! I think it would have been much more interesting to have the kid actually be Ricky White’s kid.

3. Perry White’s line, “Does he still stand for truth, justice, all that stuff?” What’s that about?! When I saw that in the trailer, I didn’t think much of it. I figured the classic line, “ I stand for truth, justice, and the American way,” would be in there somewhere. Nope. Ok. Maybe that was an oversight by the screenwriters. Nope. Turns out, they deliberately left that line out! They said something to the effect that Superman is a hero for the world. Whatever guys! So here ya have this movie, Superman Returns, which is a love letter to Superman: The Movie, and it sort of thumbs its nose at the original! Or maybe it just indirectly flips it the bird. It just bothered me that they deliberately left that line out.

4. It’s too long. Like the recent King Kong re-make, the film ultimately suffers from being too long. Nuff said on that I think.

THE REST OF THE CAST

Brandon Routh did a fine job as Superman. He looks the part. I think he did a good job with it. He really had some big shoes to fill here. I hope to see him take on the roll again and really come into his own.

Frank Langella was good as Perry White.

Sam Huntington was ok as Jimmy Olsen.

Cyclops did a good job with what he was given.

Kevin Spacey was excellent as Lex Luther. The only real problem with Luther is it’s time for some other villains to be in a Superman movie.

THE REST OF THE MOVIE

I read a review of Superman Returns where the reviewer was a little creeped out by Superman spying on Lois at her residence. Well…it has already been established that Superman cannot read minds. He, like any guy with a crush on some chick, wanted to know if she still thought of him. He gets his answer and flies away upset to hear that she doesn’t think much of him anymore. Lois is understandably mad at him for leaving the Earth without saying goodbye to her. She even went so far as to write an article about how the world doesn’t need Superman. She won a Pulitzer for that one. Ya right! What does that say about who decides whom wins a Pulitzer and who doesn’t? Maybe that says more about the screenwriters.

Finally the moment comes in the movie where Lois and Superman meet again. He meets her on the roof of the Daily Planet. He asks her why she wrote the Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman article. Her answer is, “The world doesn’t need a savior and neither do I.” Superman then takes her flying and tells her to look down at the Earth, “Everyday I hear people crying out for one.” She forgot that Sups has super hearing. I think she just wrote that article because she was mad at Superman. It was just her way of venting.

Much of the movie is beautiful to look at. There is one scene where Superman is floating in space. Why’s he doing that you ask? Because he can! Anyway…he’s just floating there listening to sounds on Earth. Suddenly, he hears a crime happening and Superman springs into action. This shot was modeled after an Alex Ross painting. Don’t know who that is? Look him up. His work is quite impressive. The shot is quite good. There is also a shot modeled after a ‘30’s Superman cover. You know, the one where he is smashing a car. I enjoyed these little touches.

There are also plenty of scenes where Superman is flying around rescuing people in danger. Most notably toward the end. Lex’s land scheme causes Metropolis to flood. Why’s that you ask? Ok…I’ll tell ya. Lex has stolen Superman’s crystals from the Fortress of Solitude. He figures out he can create more land with them. Only, he’d have to kill billions of people to do it. Doesn’t bother him one bit. The twist I found interesting was, Lex encased the crystal in Kryptonite. That way when the land mass forms, it also is made up of Kryptonite and you know what that means! So while Metropolis is flooding, Superman flies around saving various people in danger and tries to lessen the flood damage. Sound familiar? It should. That is what he was doing in the end of Superman: The Movie…except it was an earthquake…not a flood. Superman eventually gets out on the new land mass and confronts Luther. Since the land mass has a ton of Kryptonite in it, Superman is weakened and is no match for Luther’s thugs. They beat the snot out of him. Luther stabs Superman in the side with a stick of Kryptonite and breaks part of it off in him. Sups is then thrown off the landmass to die. Of course he doesn’t die Lois and Ricky aid him. Superman regains his strength and flies out to bask in the sunlight to recharge himself. Superman then dives into the ocean, picks up the landmass, and throws it into space saving the day. Yes Luther and Kitty got off of the landmass. I say all that to say this…I’ve heard some criticism of Superman being able to pick up a giant hunk of Kryptonite and hurl it into space. I think the only way he was able to do that was that he recharged himself in the sun then immediately threw the big rock of Kryptonite into space. Being around all that Kryptonite did send him into some kind of coma. The rest of the movie is the faux death of Superman. This drug on too long.

Ok…that brings us to the ending. Superman goes and sees Lois one more time. But first he sneaks into the kid’s room and repeats some of Marlon Brando’s lines. I really could of done without that. Superman says bye to Lois and flies away. Cue end credits. Ooops…almost forgot. They did put in the flying above the Earth and smiling at the camera bit at the very end. I thought that was cool.

There were cameos by the Jack Larson and Noel Neill, the Jimmy Olson and Lois Lane from the 50's TV show. You know the one with George Reeves as Superman. I didn't see any cameos from Margot Kidder or Marc McClure, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olson from the 80's movies. Don't know why they didn't.

The original theme music composed by John Williams was also used. Good thing. It was very cool to be sitting in the theatre and hear the Superman theme blare over the speakers. I must say that choked me up a bit. For a moment, I was a kid again. You hear the theme beginning. The Superman logo flies across the screen. Here comes the title and there is the music in all its glory! The opening credits were done just like the ones from the 1978 movie. I thought that was a nice touch.

Bryan Singer did a pretty decent job here. Although, I know he can do a better job. Superman Returns ends up being a mediocre movie that should have been awesome. Singer’s Superman did turn out to be a better movie than X-Men III, which was released a month earlier. As you nerds know, Singer made X-Men I and II. I think X-Men II was better than X-Men I. Hopefully Singer will make another Superman movie and it will kick ass. To bad Superman Returns did not do for Superman what Batman Begins did for Batman. What’s that you ask? Watch the movies and see for yourself!

I would be committing a grave foul if I did not recommend a re-watching of at least Superman: The Movie and Superman II. Both films still hold up today. Christopher Reeve did a phenomenal job portraying Superman. Richard Donner, the director of Superman: The Movie, and the Salkinds, the film's producers also deserve kudos for having the vision and foresight to try something no one really tried before. If it wasn’t for Superman: The Movie, there probably would not be the great superhero movies that are being made today. Word on the street is that aThe Richard Donner cut of Superman II is going to be released on DVD the same day as Superman Returns. That is very cool. Get a hold of that cut and check it out. Don't know what that is you say? Check out the Superman Hompage to find details on why there is a Richard Donner cut of Superman II...or watch the documentaries on the Special Edition Superman: The Movie DVD. Also, the Superman Ultimate Collector's Edtion DVDs come out the same day as Superman Returns. What day? November 28th.

I remember watching the Christopher Reeve Superman movies growing up. All four of them were great when I was a kid. Now, only two of them are great. As I enter my 30’s, I can’t help but look back on my childhood. It’s easy to forget the sense of wonder you once had as a child. Logic can supersede wonder and awe and suspension of disbelief. Sometimes movies can remind us of those things. It’s a piece of me I try not to forget about and lose. It can be easy to do that these days, “Gotta get to work. Gotta pay these bills.” I can get pretty sentimental sometimes. So I recomend Superman Returns for those reasons. It reminded me of being a kid again. Don’t forget what it was like for you as a child. Don’t forget all those wonderful things…kool-aid, playdoe, silly putty; mud pies…whatever it was…don’t lose it. Don’t forget it. And me…I will always believe that a man can fly.

Saw III or The Wicker Man Rant II

Where to start? Saw III is like licking the ass of a dead squirrel that's lying dead and rotting and bloating in the sun...to quote the Kids in the Hall.

Everything that was good about the first one was discarded when they made number II and now number III. Saw did not need a sequel in the first place! Oh well...I didn't have to watch them but I guess I like to suffer!

Go watch and suffer with me! Sit and watch as Eli Roth's Hostel 2 trailer plays on the screen. Cringe as you realize that Hostel doesn't need a sequel either! Squirm with the knowledge that Eli Roth is still making movies. Be annoyed as Saw III starts and goes no where and doesn't seem like it will ever end. My first thought after it ended was, "That was an incompetent piece of shit!"

I do indeed recommend that you waste your time and money watching this foul piece of crap! In fact, take total strangers with you...drag them off the street if you have to! Buy tickets for all and buy them drinks made of high fructose corn syrup! You will love it!

How do I spell Saw III? DEEP HURTING! DEEP HURTING! DEEP HURTING! Go see it and suffer...won't you?

Let's Hear it for the Liberal Hack!

I’ve been debating a liberal. What a tiring thing! Therefore, I have been very negligent with my movie reviews! I’m sorry. I look at this page every weekend for a new review and I rarely find one. What is the matter with me! I used to be able to count on the batteryboost for goofy movie reviews…now nothing! What a hack this guy at batteryboost has become! He ought to be drawn and quartered…what am I saying! Damn! I started to refer to myself in the third person didn’t I? Answer me! You think I’m talking to hear myself talk? Ooops! Now I’m typing what I’m saying to myself! And that dude in the back is saying, “Get to the point or I will surf to another page!”

Ok…I have been debating a liberal since about the end of March. I’ve known this fellow for some time. He found me on that goofy Myspace site. So most of our debate has taken place there. I shall refer to him as the Liberal Hack. He knows I’m writing this and posting it and he will most likely read it. He knows that I am referring to him as the Liberal Hack. He thought it was funny. So do I.

It started out good enough. I’d say witty things like, “Faithful Democratic sockpuppet online I see!” He would respond with, “ you are one rude gop bitch”. I’d counter that with, “moron”. He’d counter that with, “gop ass-kisser”. Just before we deterioted into name calling only, we got into some good topics. He says, "sure clinton should have gotten bin laden and if he was prez at the time of 911 he would have pursuded bin laden not sadam". I’d say, “I don't believe that Mr. Clinton would have gotten bin Laden. Clinton treated the World Trade Center bombing in 1993 as a CRIMINAL ACT! bin Laden wanted to knock down the World Trade center then. They tried to knock one tower into the other like Dominos! One of the bombers escaped to IRAQ! Clinton did not get bin Laden then!"

Now you are sitting there wondering what the point is…I’m wondering that myself. Ok…anyway…we’ve debated a wide range of subjects. Some, we have found, we actually agree on. That shocked me. For instance, both of us support the Fair Tax. (I’d just like to state here as a short aside, any liberal that supports the Fair Tax is ok in my book. Heck…let’s all just back the Fair Tax and be done with it!) Both of us are for smaller government. The Liberal Hack actually sounds to me to be more of a Libertarian than a Demoncrat. Ooops! My bad! I wrote Demoncrat! Tales From the Crypt humor is creeping in there…sorry! I meant Democrat. I asked him that very question.

“Liberal Hack.”

“Yes GOP ass-kisser”

“Why, if you are for smaller government…and things of that nature, do you continually vote for the Democrats?”

“Well…George Bush this and George Bush that!” No. The Liberal Hack has never really answered that question…unless you count the time he said that he has just been a Democrat all his life. I don’t count that as an answer. Now before you jump on George Bush and the Republicans for all the inflating of government and all the spending…I realize this. It doesn’t make me happy. So I am critical of them for that. My point here is that the Democrats can just about be counted onto do just that every time they are in power…raise taxes…spend, spend, and spend. The Liberal Hack will only vote for the Democrats no matter what. Good for you Liberal Hack!

We have also been debating foreign policy. You know…the War on Terror. Here is a short amusing excerpt…

Liberal Hack…

“lets bring all the iraqes who want to be free and save and have a good life to america. and those who want to stay can live in that hell. and they can fight each other every day , but we will be gone.”

Me…

“You are a MORON! Do you think the War on Terror is worth fighting?”

Liberal Hack…

“i do but we are dealing whith petty terrorist over there.sadam is gone.”

Me…

“Ok. I can't believe you answered a question! I'll give you props for that.”

Ok…so there we go back and forth about Islamic terrorists, bin Laden, and Iraq. I send the Liberal Hack news story after news story. Soon he weakens and admits that George W. Bush did not lie about Iraq and that we need to be there. It pained him to do that. I talk to the Liberal Hack on the phone occasionally. Every time I talk to him, I make him repeat to me that George W. Bush did not lie about Iraq and we need to be there. That is the major point he has conceded in our little debate so far. I like to remind him of that. Also, it cracks me up to hear him say it because he sounds like he is in soooooo much pain. This amuses me greatly. A co-worker of mine is vehemently anti-George W. Bush. The mere mentioning of his name turns her into Linda Blair from the Exorcist. So, every chance I get, I mention George W. Bush around her. I say things like, “George Bush looked sharp in that suit today.” She glares at me and spits up pea soup while spinning her head in a circle. I am no fan of Bill Clinton, but the mere mention of his name does not send me into spasms. I have no fear of saying some good things about Bill Clinton if he deserves them. Bill Clinton often wears some nice suits as well. There…I said a good thing about Bill Clinton and I am perfectly fine!

Ok…back to the Liberal Hack! To make a long story short…the latest thing we have been discussing and then I’m done…Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center movie. I thought the movie was outstanding and very well done for Oliver. I’ve said some nasty things about Mr. Stone and would like to apologize and say he did a good job on keeping the main thing the main thing in that movie. It is a very uplifting and hopeful movie about people coming together in times of terrible tragedy. The Liberal Hack sometimes writes movie reviews on his silly little Myspace page. I read his review of WTC. The Liberal Hack says, (this is a paraphrase) “the movie is good and the cast is good but Iraq this and Iraq that and George Bush this and George Bush that and Cheney this and Cheney that.” How can you watch a movie like WTC and say all that stupid stuff? I forgot he’s a Liberal Hack! Also, he goes on and on about things we’ve discussed in our debate that he’s already conceded! Amazing! I don’t understand that!

Ok…this post is too long already! My bad! Ok…here’s what I’ve learned so far. Me, the GOP ass-kisser as the Liberal Hack likes to call me, and the Liberal Hack actually agree on quite a few things….most notably in the domestic arena. This shocked me. Also, clear communication is vital. I have been collecting our Myspace message debate into one document. There are quite a few places where we misunderstand each other and just call each other names…yea old friends sometimes call each other nasty names. I think of that as a kind of therapy. Anyway, we kept discussing the issue and came to an understanding. I think in other words…we kept communicating. We didn’t just say, “fuck it! You suck! I’m done!” I’ve talked to some liberals who have done that and I don’t understand that. How can you get anywhere in the debate if you just throw up your arms and say, “I’m right. You’re wrong. End.”

I don’t know if any of that makes any sense.

I hope the Liberal Hack will comment on this and if I have misrepresented the Hack in anyway, he should say so. I did not intend to misrepresent the Liberal Hack. Here’s to you Liberal Hack! May you always be the passionate Demoncratic (Damn! I did it again! My bad!) Democratic Sockpuppet Liberal Hack that you are! Oh yea…I hope a GOP is elected to the Presidency in 2008 so you will move out of the USA. God Bless the Liberal Hack!

I almost forgot, did I mention that Myspace is goofy?

The Wicker Man Rant

"I'm not a witch."

"But you are dressed as one"

"They dressed me up like this!"

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail


I should NOT be surprised! I shouldn't. It was a wretched, wretched movie! It seemed to go on forever!

Go rent the original Wicker Man. Don't waste your time and money with this re-make. What am I saying? Sorry! That was wrong of me! Go to the theatre and watch this movie! Take everyone you know and buy them tickets! Then, buy them anything they want from the snack-bar! Spend a small fortune watching it! Go on! Oh...you want to see if I'm gonna say anything else about it? Ok...here is an example of a re-make that had NO need to be made! This year has not seen many great horror films...in my wretched opinion...

The Hills Have Eyes...watchable but not very good!

Hostel...again...watchable but not very good!

UnderWorld 2...SHIT! Just like the first one!

Silent Hill...watchable but ultimately unsatisfactory.

Slither- a modern classic!

See No Evil-good stuff!

The Descent-things are lookin' up...this one is really good...stay away from it! Watch the Wicker Man instead!

Snakes on a Plane-a fun action horror comedy.

Now we get another shitty re-make of a great horror movie! The Wicker Man is right up there with these recent gems...The Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-make...The Dawn of the Dead re-make...the House of Wax re-make...The Omen re-make...Pulse re-make...all utter crap!

Is there any hope? Maybe. Pan's Labyrinth...might save the day. Saw 3...I think it's gonna be a stinker like the second one. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning...I hope it's good. R Lee is back. I think he was wasted in the first one...so we'll see. Anything I forgot? I most likely did.

So there ya go...an incoherent rant! I know...it's an inconvenient truth that I sometimes inflict incoherent rants upon unsuspecting souls that may stumble upon this page...yep...I also tell bad jokes!

Go watch this crappy movie! It tries soooooooo hard not to be the original, that it falls flat crushing you...squishing your feeble little body! If you do go see the Wicker Man re-make, do yourself a favor and rent the original with Christopher Lee in it. You will not be disappointed! If you are...to bad you whimpering little baby...but at least you tried something new.

An Inconvienent Truth

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Let me catch my breath for just a second! This movie is hystarical! I fell out of my seat laughing!

Al Gore...wooden boy himself starring in a movie! All he does is stand there and talk! About what? Nothing! Oh yea, he also messes around on his laptop on trains on planes and in automobiles!

Ok...he does talk about global warming. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! What about Acid Rain? Must be totally fixed! All through this snoozefest he says, "this is not a partisian issue." Then right smack dab in the middle of the movie Mr. Al Gore whines about losing the election in 2000! You baby! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

If you want a good laugh or you want to be put to sleep go see Mr. Gore's movie!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...or Movies in '06

I've been on a bit of a hiatus and have not been writing any reviews. So here are some of the movies I've seen this year...

CAUTION: I will give away certain plot points so beware!

FINAL DESTINATION 3- Utter crap! See it and inflict some DEEP HURTING! DEEP HURTING! on yourself.

DATE MOVIE- Utter crap! The trailer for the new Jack Black movie, Nacho Libre, was on the front of this movie. That 2 minute trailer was funnier than all of Date Movie! See Date Movie then raise your arms to the sky and scream, "Why God! Why!"

SLITHER- JOE: A funny horror movie about slugs or whatever from outer-space that are bent on taking over Earth. Slither is a fun movie to watch. The cast is great. Who's in it? Nathon Fillion...You Firefly nerds know who that is! Michael Rooker is good as Grant the first guy infected with the slugs. Elizabeth Banks from the hilarious 40 Year Old Virgin plays the female lead. The stand out performance in my mind is Gregg Henry as the Mayor of the small mountain town under attack. Slither is the first really good horror movie of the year. Yes I thought it was better than Hostel!

JESSE: I saw this one. It was fucking great. Like Joe said above Gregg Henry is absolutely awesome in this. All of the acting is top notch as is the writing and directing. I highly suggest this one but you fuckers have to wait for video. Too good to spend your money at a theater well suck my balls. No, seriously I love you which is why I want you all to suck my balls let me feel your love.

SILENT HILL- JOE: I enjoyed this one. It has a great creepy atmosphere throughout the film. The town of Silent Hill is a burned-out ghost town infested with demons and ghosts. My big problem with the movie is this, when we get to the point in the plot when it is explained to us what is happening...What's my point? Don't like run-on sentences? You Baby! Ok...the explanation for why the town is a creepy ghost and demon infested town was very weak. I'm gonna tell you what it is! Basically, a little girl is born out of wedlock so she is shunned by the town. They accuse her of being a witch! Mommy must deliver the girl to the nasty townspeople to redeem herself. So the townspeople burn the little girl. She lives and ends up in the hospital. Needless to say, the little girl is very ticked off. She is so mad that she summons a Demon and befriends it. The Demon splits her in to and a little baby is sent out into the world to one day return and avenge the little girl. Or...maybe it had something to do with gamma rays? So the little girl makes herself a Cennobite from the Hellraiser movies! Even with the weak explanation, I still enjoyed it.

JESSE: I thought the visuals were pretty damn good but the story was awful. It was so bad I decided to sleep through it instead of watching it. While sleeping I had a dream. A dream with happy people with happy problems. They found happy solutions and I finally awoke from this nightmare. I looked to see Silent Hill still on. I fell back asleep and find myself having a dream where I was shitting on the floor. My shit would talk to me. " What a lovely day for a shit it would say." I would agree with a jaunty shake of my head. I gave my shit a thumbs up and one of the corns winked its love right back at me. I awoke to find Silent Hill still on. I stayed awake to see the rest and strangely found my dream of me taking a shit combined with the happy people dream would of made a better movie. Yet you people saw it and skipped a masterpiece like Slither you my good sir are an asshole. Kisses.

THE SENTINEL- This was a pretty good action/mystery/thriller/sci-fi/horror/comedy/romance movie! It kept you guessing and there were not many dull moments. What's it about? A traiter in the secret service! A plot to overthrow the government! It also gave us NO commentary on the world situation today. THANK YOU!

Ok that about brings us up to the start of the summer movie season...

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3- I liked this one as well. I didn't see the first one. I saw the second one. I think 3 is better than 2. It starts out very strong with Hunt's wife captured by the bad guy Owen Davian played by Philip Seymour Hoffman. Davian threatens to shoot Hunt's wife unless Hunt helps Davian get something called the Rabbit's Foot. Anywho...Davian shoots the girl and Hunt screams. Cue theme music and credits. So later we find out that the girl wasn't really Hunt's wife. Boo! I think it would have been better if the girl was his wife. The supporting cast does a good job. Particularly Simon Pegg as a computer nerd. Oh yea...Billy Crudup is the real bad guy and Hoffman is really just window dressing and sort of wasted in the movie. Still...it was pretty decent.

POSEIDON-Blah! The movie just sits there and does nothing. It's not very good. It's not terrible.

SEE NO EVIL- A WWE film. I liked this one. It's creepy and doesn't pause very much. It's about a group of young law-breakers that get to renovate a nasty old hotel. Guess who lives there? Yep. A psycho killer! It's a pretty solid movie for what it is. What is it you ask? It's basically a slasher flick in the vein of Friday the 13th. Yep...we've already seen a LOT of copy-cats. This one is one of the best and I think better than Friday the 13th.

THE DA VINCI CODE-WOW! Where to start! Let me start by saying for those that don't know...I'm a Roman Catholic. This movie attacks the Catholic Church like nobody's business. I can take it. It seems to be in fashion. It also attacks ALL of Christianity. So I guess that makes this movie fair and balanced! Well all theology and history aside..the plot does some VERY stupid things with logic. Let's see...we have Ian Mckellan's character, who actually sets the events in motion. He sends the evil Opus Dei albino after the secret of the Holy Grail...which is not a cup but Mary Magdalene. This albino will kill to get the grail and protect the secrets of the EVIL ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH! Then we have Tom Hanks who is a symbologist...and also some hot chick who we learn later is the last descendant of Christ and Magdalene. Now...Ian basically needs Hanks and this chick to help him locate the grail. They go to his place because the cops are chasing them for murdering some old dude who ran that Frenchie art musem(the albino really killed him then cannabilized the corpse. Ooops! sorry wrong movie!) Ok...so chasing Hanks and the hot chick are the cops, and the albino. Them chasing Hanks and the hot chick really hinder the grail quest. Does Ian call them off when Hanks and the hot chick start helping him? NO! He continues to send them after them hindering his grail quest! Ian even has himself punched in the face and thrown in the trunk of his own car...further hindering his own grail quest! Idiot! Hanks and the hot chick continue to search for the grail believing that they are helping Ian. Soon, Ian reappears and forces Hanks and the hot chick...at gun point...to continue to search for the grail! THEY WERE DOING THAT ANYWAY YOU STUPID-ASS MOVIE! They only reason I can figure that they did it that way was to pad out the movie. Yep...the movie would have been a LOT shorter if that asinine stuff wasn't in it!

Did anyone see that shitty movie Stigmata? It's really the same thing as the Da Vinci Code. Both of them hate organized religion, Christianity, and in particular the Roman Catholic Church. Yep...both films have the same message...the Gnostics were right! Nevermind the Gnostic heresy was smacked down early on. With a little digging and some research, you will see this as well. So bring the attacks on the Roman Catholic Church on! It has stood for 2000 years and will stand for 2000 more!

X-MEN 3: THE LAST STAND-This movie is ok. That's about it. It has some cool things in it...but overall was pretty lackluster. It was missing something that the first two films had. The most interesting thing about it is, it proves how good a job Byran Singer did with the first two X-Men films. I got a little theory with this Super-Hero movies...once they reach the third one, they lose steam and become mediocre. It was true with the first Superman movies. It was true of the Batman movies. It proved true of the Blade movies. Now true of the X-Men movies. Spider-Man 3 hits theatres in the summer of 2007. Let's hope that one breaks the mold.

There it is a brief rundown of some 2006 movies. I don't think it's been a very good year so far...but what do I know.

United 93

Outstanding! I don't think there will be a better film this year.